2003ish-2012: RIP, Remus H.-S.
"Departed this vale of tears;" "Waiting at the Rainbow Bridge."
Easy things to say; sweet things to hope. I don't know-- can't know-- I can merely hope, and pray, and hope that my prayers reach Someone.

What I do know is this, which I learned after my brother committed suicide and again after Golden Boy, my first cat, died in my arms at the vet:
So long as you keep your heart open, the garden of your soul will never be choked off by memorials to those you lose. It can only grow with new love, old joy and old pain not forgotten, but a part of a greater whole. Memory and pain do not truly fade save as our bodies begin to fail; they merely become a part of a larger vessel. The only way to lose to pain is to stop loving, to stop growing.

He was a good dog. He had his issues, we all do, but at his heart, he was-- and wherever he is, is-- a sweetie. Scared of strangers, but he found it easy to love once he got to know you. He was a fighter towards the end, even when his muscles were atrophying, his spine sinking from the 20 odd pounds of fluid swelling in his torso. He had his good moments, but they grew less and less and his pain more and more, and like all good pet owners, we had to make the adult decision for him.

Good bye, but not forever, my Remus. You go to the rest of the Sparkman pack before you. You will meet my Golden Boy, and please, watch out for my brother. I don't know what he's been up to without me and his friends. I love you, puppydog. I'm going to be several decades here with my beloved if I am lucky, but I will love you no less when we meet again.



Current Mood: sad

(3 Comments |Comment on this)

Writer's Block: B.Y.O.B. Holidays

For me, it's pretty much Christmas and my parents' birthdays, though since entering the teaching profession, generic Winter Break. In reverse order, I love my kids but they're all insane; I love my parents (at a distance), and for spiritual reasons and because I love giving and getting gifts.

I honor more, even if I don't celebrate them, but that's a different question.

(Comment on this)

To my dearest Leticia
You came into my life as a friend, as a colleague in our mutual hobby. You were there for me in the lows, and helped me get back to the highs. Then, of all the mad things, you told me that you were attracted to me and interested in me.

And now look at us, and where we are. You have brought joy and learning and fire and inspiration into my life. You have brought challenge and growth and love to me.

You are my heart, dear one. The match to my soul, the beacon in the darkness around me.

I love you.

Happy Birthday, Leti. Your bear, always.

Love,
Brian

Current Mood: happy

(7 Comments |Comment on this)

Well... I'm thirty!

(9 Comments |Comment on this)

Words do not suffice, pictures are not enough
Hope and joy
Bring nervous winds
Time has turned
Years have passed
God has blessed.

In 16 hours and 22 minutes from the time of this writing, the ceremony will begin. Shortly thereafter, though not as shortly as my feet kept trying to bring while we did rehearsal, my beloved and I will stand before our pastor, our families, our friends, and our God. The hymns will be sung, the sermon will be given. Perhaps, if I am very lucky, my ability to speak without stuttering will be returned befoere I have to echo the pastor's words. We will be wed. Three hours after the ceremony commences, dinner will begin at our reception where the mountains meet the sea; where earth and water and wind dance; where fire will be kindled as the food is shared.

No more than two hours after that, my dearest, my partner, my rock and my inspiration, in two words, my Teace, and I will be heading out to the hotsprings for our honeymoon. We are blessed in love, in friendship, and in family.

Nevertheless, y'all won't be hearing from me soon.

Current Mood: Light-headed with delight

(4 Comments |Comment on this)

Our Wedding Playlist
Louis Armstrong - What A Wonderful World
Jars Of Clay - Five Candles (You Were There)
Proclaimers - 500 Miles
Creedence Clearwater Revival - Up Around the Bend
Johnny Cash - I Walk the Line
Jason Wade - You Belong To Me
They Might Be Giants - Where Do They Make Balloons?
The Proclaimers - I'm On My Way
Johnny Cash - You're the Nearest Thing to Heaven
Newsboys - Good Stuff
Apocalyptica - Nothing Else Matters
Ray Charles - Hallelujah I Love Her So
dc Talk - Wanna Be Loved
Eels - My Beloved Monster
Mediaeval Baebes - Pearl
Jars of Clay - Sunny Days
Jonathan Coulton - Skullcrusher Mountain
Jars of Clay - Show You Love
Smalltown Poets - I'll Give
Smash Mouth - I'm A Believer
Rebecca St. James - I'll Carry You
Johnny Cash - Where Did We Go Right
Dana Glover - It Is You (I Have Loved)

Current Mood: ecstatic

(4 Comments |Comment on this)

No Game Tomorrow
I _think_ I told everyone about this; just in case someone missed it, the Trytalia game tomorrow is canceled for the wedding shower; next weekend is the first full day of our honeymoon, and the week after that is iffy. We should be ready to resume on the 22nd.

(1 Comment |Comment on this)

Under orders from the woman responsible for our meeting...
Posting our wedding website: http://leticiaandbrian.info and our wedding registry collection page: http://leticiaandbrian.info/links/36-gift-specific There, Beth, posted. :)

(4 Comments |Comment on this)

White Wolf Makes the Right Move
http://jesshartley.livejournal.com/392052.html

In short: Free core rules for exalted, and one time 10% discount on their other PDFs, through the 12th. Go browse and support people who do the right thing via ebooks, folks. :)

(1 Comment |Comment on this)

Back Pain: A Note
For some reason, the issue of back pain has come up on multiple blogs I follow, and LJ. Misdiagnosis and "It's not serious, it just hurts a lot, I won't go to a doctor!" seem to be a common theme.

Let me say this, as a two year veteran of a prolapsed disc: See the fucking doctor. If you slip and hurt your back and the pain comes back or persists for more than that day, _see the fucking doctor if it is at all possible_. There are hundreds of ome remedies that will help you with the pain-- epsom salts, relaxation, yoga, etc. Check them out, sure. But /see the fucking doctor/. Get it checked out. And if you still feel pain after following what the doctor tells you, see a specialist, if you can, and if not, treat your back with velvet gloves, and watch for the pain. For pity's sake, do that even if you've got the insurance and the specialist says you're mostly okay.

I believe in a Creator, yes. I also _know_ there's evolution. I don't see a conflict. You can have a divine Creator and still be a work in progress. In fact, it's almost a certainty for a living, changing universe like the one we're in. But whether you're an atheist or a theist, these are the facts: Our backs-- muscles, spines, and so forth-- despite millions of years of evolution, were originally designed for horizontal, quadruped creatures. We've come a long way, but major change goes on and on, and there is a reason that back problems are persistent and chronic for the human species-- our backs are taking pressure in ways that they're not yet 100% suited to (and may never be so without deliberate engineering, which may not be wise-- there are some uses to being able to switch handily between modes of transportation).

Treat your back with respect and care. This is how you move. This is how you live. I wish now that I'd been far, far more aggressive about my care and diagnosis than I was-- and the consequences for my loved ones are greater because I did not. So if you won't do it to spare yourself, do it so that you don't become a burden on those you care about.

Current Mood: SRS

(1 Comment |Comment on this)

>_>
Since Zeffy is old enough to start helping with other playmates, I decided to get and now for her company. ^^;;

(2 Comments |Comment on this)

Mew
*pets the growing hatchling gently, and gets all sorts of flying/aeronautical/etc. themed toys and learning centers and such o.o*
s'growing. M'not ENTIRELY bad.



Current Mood: bouncy

(1 Comment |Comment on this)

Behold!
We have our rings. Our celebration of our us. <3

I love you, Leticia. Thank you for agreeing to partner our lives.

(10 Comments |Comment on this)

*hugs egg tenderly*
I'm going to lose the poor thing, I just know it. ;_;

(5 Comments |Comment on this)

^_^
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, folks.

(Comment on this)

*blinks* Thank you!
Well, apparently, I've been given a vgift and two months of paid LJism. Thank you, to whoever the anonymous gifter is! I highly appreciate it.

However, I am also an extremely curious sort of person! Care to give more hints as to your identity, Extremely Nice Person?

(19 Comments |Comment on this)